Mission farewell talk

Be Anxiously Engaged

I’ve been asked to speak on the topic of “Being Anxiously Engaged.” This phrase is pulled from the 58^th section of the Doctrine Covenants, verse 27, with the Lord speaking: “Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” There are two parts of this verse that I would like to focus on: first, that we should do many things of our own free will, and second, that we should be engaged anxiously.

Seeing as this is my mission farewell talk, I find it perfectly fitting to share how I came to the decision to serve. Some of you have already heard this story, so I apologize for the repetition, but this is my talk so I’m going to share it anyway.

At some point in my life, my attitude towards personally serving a mission had become “Eh, maybe I’ll go, maybe not. I’ll see where I’m at when I’m 21.” Therefore I was rather surprised when I heard the announcement about women being able to serve at the age of nineteen, especially since I was exactly one week away from my nineteenth birthday. Unlike some girls who were overcome with joy, my first thought was more “Well, shoot. Now I have to decide.” I knew that if I was going to serve, now would be the right time for me. Thankfully I was listening to General Conference over radio, in a cabin in the mountains occupied by about ten people, so I had plenty of alone time to think.

To be honest, I was scared. So first I made up a pros and cons list about serving a mission. However, I realized that a pros and cons list, while useful, was not the way to decide whether or not to serve. So I sincerely asked myself: did I want to serve? Eventually I came to the conclusion that I did; so now I needed to go to the Lord. I wanted to know if this was right for me, because I knew that the answer could be no. I also wanted to make sure I was not just being swept up in the hype, as I was very much in the middle of the hype living in the freshmen dorms of BYU. I studied and prayed for days that felt like weeks. Thankfully, I had the opportunity to attend the temple one morning, and I knew if I could get a clear answer, it would be there, because Satan and all his irrational fears didn’t have a temple recommend. And it was there in the temple that I got my answer: it was up to me. My answer wasn’t “yes, you need to go,” or “no, you shouldn’t.” It was “If you want to go, then go. If not, then don’t.” I was actually kind of bummed with that answer.

But this is where the long story ties into my point: I was given the option to exercise my free will in deciding whether or not to serve a mission. And while I was initially bummed with my answer, I am now grateful for that opportunity to choose. And on those really hard days, I’ll have no one to blame but myself.

So while not all of us face the decision to serve as full-time missionaries, we do face the decision of serving God every day of our lives. How often do we pray for the opportunity to serve someone, but when the prompting never comes, we think “Oh, well, I guess no one needed to be served today.” I don’t have any statistics to back me up, but I’m pretty sure there is someone we can serve every day. I am by no means blameless when it comes to such thoughts and inactions, but I think it is worth attempting to serve those around us, even when not prompted to do so.

And here is where my second point ties in: that we must go about this work anxiously. I always thought the term “anxious” in this context was strange, but as I thought about it more, it made sense. To go about doing something anxiously connotes an earnestness compounded by emotional distress over an uncertain outcome. In our case, we are given a limited amount of time on this Earth, and what we do with that time determines much of our situation after this life.

The day in which we live is especially important, in that we have the fully restored gospel, and we have been tasked with preparing the world for the Savior’s Second Coming. In an October 1989 Conference address Marvin J. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles quoted a statement made by Ezra Taft Benson to a group of youth:

“For nearly six thousand years, God has held you in reserve to make your appearance in the final days before the Second Coming. Every previous gospel dispensation has drifted into apostasy, but ours will not. … God has saved for the final inning some of his strongest children, who will help bear off the kingdom triumphantly. And that is where you come in, for you are the generation that must be prepared to meet your God. … Make no mistake about it—you are a marked generation. There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time as there is of us. … Each day we personally make many decisions that show where our support will go. The final outcome is certain—the forces of righteousness will finally win. What remains to be seen is where each of us personally, now and in the future, will stand in this fight—and how tall we will stand. Will we be true to our last-days, foreordained mission?”

If this was true twenty-four years ago, how much more urgent is it today? We have been told to be anxiously engaged in a good cause, whether that is missionary work, our own personal worthiness, or in service to others.

A great example of being “anxiously engaged” pertaining to missionary work is found in the scriptures with the Sons of Mosiah. After their own personal conversions, they declined the throne to the kingdom, because they wanted to teach the Lamanites. As Mosiah 28:3 explains, “Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble.”

As I’ve prepared for my own mission, I’ve been able to personally experience anxious engagement. As I mentioned before, the age change was a big surprise, and suddenly I was faced with the question of whether or not I knew the gospel well enough to teach people totally unfamiliar with it. My second semester of school was very different than what it normally would have been. My Book of Mormon class had new meaning, I was taking a missionary preparation class, and I was personally reading Jesus the Christ. I often went to campus with two copies of The Book of Mormon, as I was reading them simultaneously – at different parts – with different things to mark up. Some days I also had Jesus the Christ or Preach My Gospel in there as well. I was earnestly and anxiously attempting to prepare for a mission. Interestingly, I found that the days where I was most anxiously engaged, I was happiest.

But the means for preparing for a mission are the same used for any spiritual preparation in life. Each of us has been asked to be a missionary in our own lives, by helping those around us come to Christ. As I’ve mentioned before, one of the great ways we can do this is by serving those around us. As James 1:27 reads, "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." Even with the recent surge in full-time missionaries, the greatest missionary work on this earth will be done through the members. As M. Russell Ballard stated in his October 2012 Conference address,

“What would be the cumulative effect of millions of small, compassionate acts performed daily by us because of our heartfelt Christian love for others? Over time this would have a transformative effect upon all of our Heavenly Father’s children through the extension of His love to them through us. Our troubled world needs this love of Christ today more than ever, and it will need it even more in the years ahead."

Every soul on this Earth is precious in the site of God. The anguish felt by the Sons of Mosiah over the Lamanites can only be felt exponentially greater in the heart of Heavenly Father for all his children. Each of us has the opportunity to do good in this life, and it is only fitting we go about it anxiously.

In conclusion, I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve as a full-time missionary among the people of Ukraine. I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that every one of us is a child of our Heavenly Father, who loves us so much he sent His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to perform the Atonement for us. I know that we have a living prophet on the Earth today, President Thomas S. Monson, who leads and guides us under the direction of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. I know that along with the Bible, the Book of Mormon is the word of God, written by prophets of old and translated through the power of God by Joseph Smith. I know that Joseph Smith really did see God the Father and Jesus Christ, and that he was led by them in restoring Christ’s church to the earth today. I know these things, because the Spirit has confirmed them to me in that I cannot deny them. This is my testimony, and I leave it with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.